November 3, 2010
Back from a long silence my friends. I have begun many times since last posting to detail the ins and outs of this experience and thought otherwise about making public my thoughts. So many reasons why this is so which include the teachings of Don Juan to Carlos Casteneda in his instructions to erase his personal history. I thought long and hard about this as it struck a deep chord of resonance with me. It came up again in the writings of Jose Triguerinho who teaches the wisdom of eliminating the personality. Said another way, he speaks of removing the ego so that what is left is our higher self, the part of us that exists beyond this short experience we are having as, well for me it would be Mindy, for you, whomever you know yourself as. David Icke calls it “Little Me.” Hmmmm, so there we are. In my writings on this blog and in fact where ever and whatever I’ve written, it’s always been about my experience, my thoughts, my feelings; it’s always about me, me, me. Yuck! I’ve struggled my whole life to put me, me, me aside and put others first. That’s been one of my biggest lessons here. I suppose because of this, I’ve been much more introspective than most. I look at things and think about things that other people don’t take the time for and of course my point of reference is always me, how could it be otherwise? But on the other hand….perhaps that’s why my writing has some appeal. Maybe I’m shining a light in places most people don’t look. Holding up a mirror, perhaps?
Well, in any case, I questioned the purpose, the dignity, (?) of continuing to expose and reveal what was in my mind and in my heart, since I know that as well as connecting me to those who enjoy reading this, it also serves to isolate me by pointing out the difference between my experience and so many of my loved ones. It also creates an opening for judgment and in that process perhaps danger that I may be thought raving mad. Maybe someone who thinks they love me might even decide that for my own good, I should be committed to a place that could straighten my act out. It’s a strange fact that the line between brilliance and madness is a very fine line. You see throughout all time anyone whose ideas were different than the mainstream were written off as delusional. This then is how we are programmed to process things that don’t fit in with the accepted paradigm. “Hmmm, that doesn’t make any sense, the poor bugger must be crazy!” Well, call me crazy if you must.
I never intended to stick out like a sore thumb. Great expression, that, isn’t it? Brings images of “Even Cowgirls get the Blues” to mind. I love the play of words. Suppose that’s why I love to write. For one thing it gets the damn endless conversation out of my head and makes more space for new thoughts, such as they are. I also never intended to see quite this far down the rabbit hole. Or did I? I did start crawling down this rabbit hole an awfully long time ago. Like Alice in Wonderland, I wanted to know what would happen if I took the blue pill. But I got way more than I bargained for when I wanted to know what was really going on. I started to say damn Paul for asking to know and see everything, but I can’t do that, I love him too much. Besides it’s my problem that I have that “little sister” complex that makes me want to know everything he does and do everything he does. I don’t want to be left out of anything. Kind of wish now I might have been left out of knowing a thing or two. Geez! I didn’t want to know this stuff!
Probably by now, you might be wondering “What is she going on about now?” This is where it gets tricky, because where in the world do I start to articulate what I’ve been talking about? It’s even harder now than ever what with the aluminum poisoning that I’m convinced I’m feeling the effects of. What? Where did that come from? Have any of you looked up into the sky lately? Have you noticed the billowing jet trails spewing lines across the sky, criss-crossing and painting grid lines? Or what about all these new kinds and shapes of clouds that we never learned about when I was a young girl in school? Do you think there are suddenly new kinds of clouds? Think again, my dear ones. Those are not condensation trails billowing behind commercial jet traffic. Condensation trails dissipate in a matter of minutes. They do not leave lines from one horizon to another. Did you know that’s what’s in those trails of smoky looking clouds is aluminum, barium and strontium and other nano particles? Did you know that the safe levels of aluminum are 1,000 parts per billion and that soil and water samples are showing levels in Phoenix at 30,000 parts per billion. In Mt Shasta, California they’ve measured 61,000 ppb. I don’t know what they are measuring here in Vermont where I am, but I can tell you that my skies overhead are filled with more trails than I’ve seen anywhere! So here’s what they say are the effects on our health from these excessive levels of aluminum: neurological damage, inability to focus or concentrate, memory loss, depression, confusion, joint pains. There’s more folks. Those are just a few. Cases of Alzheimer’s are higher than ever. While I don’t have Alzheimer’s, thank God, I do have all the other symptoms I just detailed. Do you? Chances are you might. But this is a tough one because there’s any number of other reasons why you might be having these and other cold or flu like symptoms…. Now, if you use your logical thinking and ask, why would they be doing this, you’ll find with a little research that the government is proposing (note I say proposing) something they call SRM Solar Radiation Management to control the weather and mitigate global warming. They will say that they think the risks are worth taking to manage this problem. Bull shit. Sorry. First of all the government isn’t proposing, they already are and second of all, it’s not about global warming, it’s about population reduction and profit from illness and misery, but is that really all it’s about? Maybe not, I say….
Enough of that, let’s talk about something else, shall we? Don’t quite know what to do with this blog now that I’ve come to some of the realizations I have about erasing personal history and eliminating personality and such musings as these. After all that’s mostly what I enjoy writing about, but I do love passing along new information that seems worthy of sharing. I just might have a go at revamping the blog spot site and eliminating some old links. It always seems like such a bother when I remember that I want to do that. But these days I might find myself walking from one room to the next with some intention only to forget what that might have been when I get there. I KNOW it’s not age and it’s not dementia, folks. I think it’s something much more sinister than that. But I can hear so many unvoiced opinions saying I question things way too much. But my concern is that there are too many of us who do not question things nearly enough.
So let me just say this, in case it’s not understood. Like dying, there’s a process that takes place much like the grieving process, when one begins to awaken to certain truths that were previously unnoticed. There are certain steps that occur which include denial, anger, apathy and others that aren’t coming immediately to mind before one does eventually arrive in a state of acceptance. And for the most part I think I can honestly say that I am in a place of acceptance most of the time. That does not mean condoning what is so nor does it mean inaction to take measures that might change things. Perhaps now more than ever I feel the inclination to share information, to make connections with more people locally to really establish in more concrete ways a community network around me so that I don’t feel so alone and helpless when my mind wanders out into possible future scenarios instead of staying peaceably in the moment where all continues to be well.
Enough said for now. Any feedback?
Here’s a list of links if you want to delve deeper into some of the things I’ve been exploring lately:
(I haven’t explored some of them in detail yet but they come recommended by reputable sources and people I know and trust)
On Chem Trails (Geo Engineering, solar radiation management SRM or whatever you prefer to call the aerosol spraying of the skies):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K9rXydMmfw a good overview in movie form in 7 parts by Michael Murphy
http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/
http://educate-yourself.org/ Educate-Yourself.org is a free educational forum dedicated to the dissemination of accurate information in the use of natural, non-pharmaceutical medicines and alternative healing therapies in the treatment of disease conditions. Free Energy, Earth Changes, and the growing reality of Big Brother are also explored
For some good radio talk show interviews check out:
Red Ice Radio on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=red+ice+radio+2010&aq=1
As I’ve often mentioned before I almost always appreciate hearing what Max Igan from Australia has to say and look for his latest offerings on YouTube. Here’s today’s search of new postings: http://www.youtube.com/results?uploaded=w&search_query=max+igan+2010&search_type=videos&suggested_categories=27%2C25%2C29&uni=3 Be sure to use the sort by tab and get the latest stuff. I usually sort for things uploaded this week. And David Icke remains one of my favorite sources of information and I search YouTube for him as well but you can also visit both Max’s and David’s websites at: www.thecrowhouse.com and www.DavidIcke.com
For any of you who wish to explore some more esoteric stuff I would point you to http://alphaspaceshipenglish.blogspot.com/ a site some friends in Brazil recently introduced me to.
Happy explorations!
So much love, Mindy